Welcome to the website of RealMoist^tm, the exciting new feature now available for every Internet user.

First a little backgound. The folks at AcmeSoft Dynamics felt that, even with the astonishing capabilities of HTML and Java, such as text centering, and tiny little words jerking across the screen, certain technological frontiers had yet to be crossed, certain excitement levels had not been reached.

So we created the RealMoist^tm protocol. It's so simple, frankly we wonder why no one thought of it before.

Here's how it works: when you reach a RealMoist^tm-compatible web site your monitor fills up with water! Don't believe me? Watch the bottom of your screen as the liquid begins to rise. See that? Yes, the words are a little more difficult to read, but feel that refreshing wetness! No more bone-dry, skin-chafing home pages!

And the good news is, you don't have to buy a thing! And no buggy beta software to download. It's all automatic. Every new website created from this day forward will have RealMoist^tm capability built in! The only requirement on your part? You must have indoor plumbing.

Admittedly there's a slight downside. Some of you may spend so much time on the web that this feature would seriously affect your utility bill. Others may be concerned with the moisture content of your equipment.

That's why we've developed the AcmeSoft Special Convenience Option: For only $49.95, you can turn OFF the RealMoist^tm feature! Think of it. No outrageous water bills; no expensive equipment repair! Isn't that exciting?

Take out your credit card and click here to turn off that stupid water thing right this minute, what a crappy idea!

Yes, AcmeSoft Dynamics, in the heart of Silicon Valley, where scientific achievement... what? Hold on a second... Sorry, we've just been bought out by Microsoft. Gotta go. Talk to you later...maybe.



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Copyright © 1996 Reno Bailey