It all boils down to this
An old political truism has it that the only two real political questions are: "Who's getting screwed?" and "Who's doing the screwing?"-- Molly Ivins
Sounds of Silence
Madelyn O'Hair, perhaps the most famous atheist in the US, has been missing for more than a year. Her surviving son, also an atheist, is distraught as one might imagine. Nonetheless, he is comforted by the knowledge that millions of people throughout the world are not praying for his mother's safe return.
Wish I Had Written That
When Meriwether Lewis was offered the position of personal secretary to President Thomas Jefferson, he wrote a friend:"I cannot withhold from you my friend the agreeable intelligence I received on my arrival at this place [Pittsburgh] by way of a very polite note from Thomas Jefferson, the newly elected President of the United States, signifying his wish that I should except the office of his private Secretary; this unbounded, as well as unexpected confidence, confered on me by a man whose virtue and talents I have ever adored, and always conceived second to none, I must confess did not fail to raise me somewhat in my own estimation, insomuch that I have almost prevailed on myself to believe that my abilities are equal to the task; however be that as it may I am resolved to except it, and shal therefore set forward to the City of Washington in a few days; I deem the prospect two flattering to be neglected by a man of my standing and prospects in life."Translation: Hot damn, I got the job!
(Quote from Undaunted Courage by Stephen E. Ambrose)
This just in...
The sale at New York Carpet World ends Saturday.Editor's Note: For those of you unfamiliar with New York Carpet World, they have a sale every week of the year, Monday through Saturday. Presumably, Sunday is the only day you can take advantage of their regular, higher prices---if they're open.
"Dancing Baloney"
Someone on the Web has coined this term for the meaningless, inane, unnecessary, stupid animated graphics found on many webpages (including this one). As a public service, just so you'll be completely familiar with the term, here are a few examples of Dancing Baloney:
If you require further examples in order to fully understand the concept, just let us know. Thank you.
Household Hint
Every couple of months put a coat of wax on your yardstick if you want to keep it nice.---Poor H. Allen Smith's Almanac
This also just in...
Scientists in Athens, Greece, have determined that Cyclops' vision was 20/.Editors Note: Hey, neat name for half a TV show!
Old Quote
When General Motors announced it was naming its new electric car "Impact," Jay Leno mused, "Guess all the good names were taken, like 'Flaming Ball of Death.'"
Polls
Statisticians declare that by carefully selecting 1,000 people, and carefully crafting the questions, they can elicit answers that accurately reflect the attitudes of 260 million. Bull feathers.Reminds me of the late Robert Benchley's observation: Americans are divided into two groups; one group that thinks Americans are divided into two groups, and another that doesn't.
Editors Note: Did our use of "the late" tell you who Robert Benchley is, or anything about him except that he is dead (which most people are)? Why do we use that description? Historical figures seem to be exempt: We never say "the late Rembrandt" or "the late Hitler."
Geographical Oddity
In the U. S., no state's name ends in a.Except Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, California, Florida, Georgia, Indiana, Iowa, Louisiana, Minnesota, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, North Carolina, North Dakota, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, South Dakota, Virginia and West Virginia.
Editors Note: Thanks for the preceding to a strange comedian named Emo Phillips, who has another memorable line: "You have to get up pretty early in the morning to catch me peeping in your bedroom window."
Acknowledgements
Many of you might have asked, "What HTML resources did you use in creating this home page?" You would not have received an answer, since I would have been out of town at the time.However, the editor I use is HotDog from the wonderful down-under folks at Sausage Software. They have a nifty website, with lots of tips and links to free stuff.
And of couse we want to thank all the little people, especially Robert Reich, Billy Barty, Donna Shalala, Danny DeVito and "Johnny," the Phillip Morris bellboy.
"Hello, my name is..."
Hope you enjoyed the visit. If you're so inclined, leave a note. Your comments and observations are welcomed. I think I speak for all the dedicated, imaginary people at AcmeSoft Dynamics when I say: Glad you stopped by.
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Copyright © 1996 Reno Bailey
