Welcome to the web's first and finest Morse Code translation service. You're probably thinking that such a service is not for you. Think again. Suppose, at the very next big dinner party, the hostess taps her crystal water glass and asks, "Does anyone here know a few words in Morse Code?"

And did you know...

• On membership application forms for many country clubs (especially in the states of Idaho, Vermont, Ft. Lauderdale and Canada), there is likely to be questions---essay questions!---about your Morse Code capabilities.
  
  
• Morse Code continues to show up in conversations among platypus breeders, both here and abroad.

Don't want to miss the boat? Of course not. Here's how our service works. Suppose you emailed us this phrase:

Send me all your chickens.

We would promptly return the translation, in both ASCII and phonetic forms as shown below.

Official Morse Code Translation Form
Word	Phonetic Translation	ASCII Translation
Send	Di-di-dit Dit Dah-dit Dah-di-dit	... . -. -..
me	Dah-dah Dit	-- .
all	Di-dah Di-dah-di-dit Di-dah-di dit	.- .-.. .-..
your	Dah-di-dah-dah Dah-dah-dah Di-di-dah Di-dah-dit	-.-- --- ..- .-.
chickens.	Dah-di-dah-dit Di-di-di-dit Di-dit Dah-di-dah-dit Dah-di-dah Dit Dah-dit Di-di-dit Di-dah-di-dah-di-dah	-.-. .... .. -.-. -.- . -. ... .-.-.-

Pricing Information

Translation charges depend on which letters and numbers are contained in the phrases you provide. Letters requiring higher bandwidth cost more. Simply match the prices in the table below to the letters in your phrase, then add up the total. We believe we have the lowest prices on the web, but if you find some fly-by-night, knock-off competitor who will do it cheaper, see you around.

Translation Price Table
Price	Letters and Numerals
$ .04	E, I, S, H, 5
$ .22	A, B, D, F, L, N, R, T, U, V, 4, 6
$ .94	C, G, M, K, P, W, X, Z, 3, 7
$1.39	J, O, Q, Y, 1, 2, 8, 9, 0

(For the budget conscious, we recommend you avoid using words containing the vowels O and Y, and the consonants J and Q. Also, avoid punctuation, which is so expensive you couldn't possibly afford it.)

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Free "Get Acquainted" Translation

Select a sample phrase from the list below, provide the requested information and click the Submit button.

The remaining Velveeta is aging in my nephew's sneaker. Rupert insured his expensive nose hair clipper. I am having trouble operating my anvil. In a matter of hours spitting will resume on the mezzanine. Juanita seemed nonchalant when confronted with the artichoke dip. Last chance for anthracite for the next 300 miles.

Small print: A free translation will possibly be forwarded to you in four to six weeks, or upon your death, whichever comes last, or, in case we forget, not at all. If you are not fully satisfied, by then you won't remember why and it will probably be for some other reason anyway. In any case, the internet will have gone the way of leisure suits and CB radios, and we'll be out of business, so what will it matter? Slightly freer above Minnesota.

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Never mind the sample phrase

Here's my own. Translate it and bill me immediately:

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Here's information about me:

First name    Last Name

I (we) own lots of diamonds and gold jewelry 

i (we) keep it in my (our)  Bedroom Kitchen Butler's Quarters Dining Room Basement Attic Crawl Space Spa Florida Room Mississippi Room Bentley Pool house Guest house Bird house Tenant shack

I (we) will be out of town next  Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday Week Weekend Month Year September Arbor Day Yom Kippur Mardi Gras New Year's Eve Baseball Season

I (we) hide the front door key:

        under the mat.
        in the flower pot.

I (we) belong to the National Rifle Association 

My (our) guard dog is a  Doberman Rottweiler Dachshund St. Bernard Chihuahua Pit Bull Irish Terrier Scottish Terrier Albanian Terrier Libyan Terrorist Dalmatian Bloodhound Bulldog Fond Memory Tape Recording Cat

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And now the big moment:

Tacky but attention-grabbing graphic of excited primate by SS Animation

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Copyright © 1997 Reno Bailey